Everywhere I look people are using DISC. I'm reading an excellent book by Marshall Goldsmith. In researching his methods I discovered he uses DISC. I have a book, "Your Career in Changing Times." It uses DISC to help people discover their career transitions. Whether it's your management style, sales abilities, teacher training, coach development, or just plain working on your people skills, DISC is applicable. When I first started this then hobby, I had no idea I would be on the cusp of one of the hottest developmental tools on the marketplace. Our family knew it was good, and I've made a great career of it, but I still find myself confounded seeing DISC pop up regularly in every environment imaginable. I mean, I am affiliated with a woman who has her doctorate and is hired by attorneys to assist them in selecting juries. Then another consultant I know has a niche field in the area of golf, using, of course, DISC with his clients. I was a part of the hiring of the Executive Director of the Lightrail. We used this tool to assess the behavioral style of the candidates. So, what are you doing that DISC can help? You just might be surprised. I have been.

Adapting Your Style Will Reduce Conflict

Not even knowing it, we can run roughshod right over our friends and loved ones. I ought to know, I've done it many times myself, and without meaning to, I'm sure I'll do it again. As a "High D/I" in my style, when my husband and I would make a decision, well I was ready to do it, well, RIGHT NOW of course. It wasn't until I understood that he, being "S/C " needed time to think, contemplate, process, count the cost, adjust and just plain get use to the idea of doing something new, that I was able to honor him. Springing anything on an "S" or a "C", no matter how good, practical, or fun it may be, causes them stress and throws them out of kilter. I've know learned that I have to prepare my husband, through lots of time and conversation, whether it's going on a vacation or buying a new piece of furniture. Remember, they value things "STAYING THE SAME". They don't like change, whereas I live for it, and create as much of it wherever I go as possible. Loving new things, new ways of doing things, new friends, new routes to drive, new places to go, all energize me. But if you're married to a "High C", as I am, that is diametrically the opposite of how they want, and need things to be. My father, who was off the chart "High C" had a schedule he kept on a daily basis that would have killed me. He ate the same food for breakfast and lunch every day, went to the same restaurant each week for 30 years, had the same routine mapped, out in advance, for his garden. As well, he kept the same friends, just a few, his whole life. To regenerate, a "High C" likes to BE ALONE, read a book, do something artistic. They love down time. For a "D" it's diving into a project, one of their thousand they have going. For the "S" it's taking a nap, kicking back, hanging out with the family. For the "High I" it's being around people and having a party. Can you see how our needs and values clash? I've even learned that if I'm working with an executive that has "C" tendencies, that even changing a meeting time can throw the rest of their day off. Keeping consistency and at all cost continuity is a way of valuing their style. Is it "right"? There is no right or wrong in this. And, hopefully they're learning my style so they will understand how to relate and honor me. As well, all of us need to learn to adapt our style to meet the needs of the other person we're relating to. We all need to learn flexibility and not demand the other person to well, do it "MY" way. If each person takes the time to learn the behavioral styles of the people in their circle of influence, and then consciously adapt their style to meet their needs, we will eliminate many of the bickering, arguing, and contention in our homes, as well as in our workplace.

What Age Can You Perceive One's Behavioral Style?

My adorable toddler grandson, Caleb, builds towers with his blocks with such intensity and focus you’d think he had a contract to fill, and deadline to hit. We’ve seen him do this with other toys as well, he’s just a take-charge little guy. As well, he has to have his “people time” every day or he gets rather cranky. My daughter tells me that he loves going to the grocery store, because all the people walking by stop to talk to him, and does he love that! In fact, she goes somewhere just about every day. He brightens up and is energized by a crowd where ever he goes. In fact, during a party at their home recently, you would have thought Caleb was on a stage. He did little dance rocking movements just to make everyone laugh. Has it been his environment that created this? I don’t think so, it’s just who he is. Now, I don’t advocate mentally profiling children and announcing your findings. In fact, when my children were in Jr. High they begged me to tell them their Behavioral Style, and I just wouldn’t. I believe you should always give children room to grow, change, and develop their personalities without any stereotypes placed on them. I find all of this fascinating. I can’t wait to watch Caleb grow and develop. I’m sure this won’t be the last time you’ll hear about him.

Change A Habit and Change Your Life

I was breaking out like a teenager. For over a year and a half I caked on foundation makeup, trying to hide all the ghastly blemishes. Then one day I bought a moisturizing cream that was on sale, and within a week I noticed I wasn’t breaking out, NOT ONE BIT. What made the difference? I discovered that any kind of make-up with oil in it caused my face to erupt looking like the Grand Canyon. One small, simple change, and I felt physically, as well as emotionally better. I’m convinced this dilemma would have been solved so much sooner had I gone to a professional in cosmetology, and had a needs assessment done on my skin. You know, I encounter the same thing with my coaching clients. People don’t realize that an outside view-in can detect the need for small alterations that which can make a world of difference in how one relates to those around them. The knowledge of DISC can provide this kind of dramatic change! I can’t tell you the amount of people that come to me and tell me how much more congenial and satisfying their relationships are now that they use DISC. Along with training on the proper use of DISC, as well coaching to hold you accountable for changing, you can more than doubles your success in relating to people. Don’t wait until things are out of control. Click on the tab on the upper right had side of this blog and you can receive your free introductory coaching session. Then once you learn DISC, judge for yourself how effective it is.

It's Really About You, Putting Them First That Is

"So, we should be sure everyone learns our behavioral style so they know how to treat us, right?" said a gentleman in the seminar I was conducting. Well, this is not quite the right idea. Actually it's the other way around. You'll find you're not as frustrated or confused when you "Get It". Getting it means you take up the challenge to figure out the style of the person you're relating to, then adapt your behavior to meet their needs. The more you adapt to honor the style of the people you relate to in business or at home, the more you'll see others are doing the same for you.


To learn the characteristics of each behavioral style, write me, and I'll send you a free white paper describing each style.

Part II The "High S" Boss

If you can't handle the low-key environment where you have a boss displaying "High S" tendencies, take notes! When approaching the "High S" tone it down and slow it down! Sit or stand at their level, not over them, but with them. "WITH" is the main emphasis. And give them space to feel comfortable. When broaching a subject, ask a question. For instance, "Jan, do you think there are enough contractors for this job? I wonder if we would be better equipped to get back on our time schedule with more help?" Remember that making emphatic, direct statements may shut them down. Instead of confrontation, try making it a conversation. You just might be surprised at how perceptive they can be. I had one "High D", (clearly a dynamic driven go-getter) report back to me some time after a seminar I had conducted, that he quit doing all the talking and was literally shocked to learn just how smart the people were around him, and how much they knew. He said, "I had no idea! I was shocked." Never before had he realized this, as he had always dominated the conversations while setting the agenda: his. By learning to ask questions, and then listen, he discovered a whole New World of people around him that he had never before given the chance to participate in conversations, much less decision making. One of the principle goals in understanding behavioral styles is to relate to others in a way that allows them to come out of their shell and be heard! Why not try adapting your style to them for a change? In doing so you will gain a powerful new skill - that of honoring others above yourself.

Part I The "High S" Boss and How To Relate

They're kind, considerate, and nice. But, they don't like waves. No, let me be more accurate, they hate waves, and will avoid them AT ALL COST. Oh yes, did I mention your bringing up a problem in the office, or sharing your concern, to them is considered a wave? Approachable, they are the most congenial of all the behavioral styles. Am I biased? Absolutely; I married one who displays mostly "High S" behaviors. But, back to you. You may be frustrated, things aren't moving as fast as you want. And, you would definitely lay the law down if you were in charge, but face it, you're not. So what do you do? First off, be grateful. You have a master negotiator who lives to create teams and have peace. Why, office life to them is a prototype of the family, and inclusion is a value to be reckoned with. This is a time to build the cohesion of the team, and to learn to value the contributions that your colleagues bring to the table. Things may not move fast, but they will consistently, safely stay at status quo, while possibly moving ahead. If you can, decide to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere. One way to cope is to pour your energy into something else, a hobby or club, someplace where you can take the lead if need be.

Getting the Attention of a "High D" Boss

So you want to present an idea or proposal to your boss, and he/she's "High D". How do you do it in such a way that it is not only received, but implemented? First, lose your ego. Give them the idea in a way that they can own it as if they thought of it themselves. Don't know how to do this? Check out "How To Win Friends and Influence People." Other "best practices" for these direct, dynamic, decisive, type "A" personalities: 1. Get their attention. This may be difficult, since they multi-task as if training on a marathon. 2. Be creative, you could take a walk, or ride with them in a car to catch them in-between things. Once you have their attention, be brief and amazing, you'll only have a moment. And know your stuff, they have a keen sense of what will and won't work. If not you'll be dropped as quickly as a cell phone call, so don't give too much detail, they'll zone out. A great tactic is to get their opinion, or what they would do. This engages them, hopefully making them think instead of react, and you'll quickly know where your proposal is going. Above all, don't take anything personally, because they are blunt, and can be brutal. They say what they mean and mean what they say. And decisions, they make them before a microwave can go off, and you probably haven't even shared all the important facts. Is your proposal really important, will it generate a serious bottom line? Then if you think you're losing them, tell them THEY CAN'T DO IT, or, "You know, this probably won't work". You've just thrown the gauntlet down. They can't stand to miss a challenge, or prove something can be done that everyone else thinks can't. You'll have them. They'll throw themselves into the project like a bulldog on a cat. As you can see, it's an art to present to a "High D". Remeber, Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance! You may take hours to prepare what takes two minutes to present. It's worth it if they can catch the vision!

Survival People Skills in the Workplace - Approaching the "High C" Boss

I had someone ask me the other day how to approach their boss with a proposal. Learning that they displayed "High C" tendencies, I explained that first off, they don't like interruptions or surprises, so schedule an appointment. Be sure you're prepared, remember they live this Boy Scout motto, so you should as well. Compile your figures correctly, put your paperwork in order, and have a compendium of details for their review. After all this, remember to leave the paperwork with them for their thorough examination, not expecting an answer on the spot. And do give them a deadline to get back with you with an answer, or they will examine and re-examine the material forever.
Does this work? You bet it does. Honor the way the "High C" needs to be approached, and how they best process information, and you'll find they'll be brilliant in their decisions and execution. Most of all, ‘Be Prepared’. Their first reaction to almost anything will be to minutely dissect, and then logically point out the frailties of your plan. Since their style is programmed to discern, change and fix what won’t work, it’s not meant to discourage you, or be negative. They are long-term thinkers that are assisting all of us count the cost before we dive headlong into one of our hair-brained ideas. Listening to them, and heading their warnings could just save you hundreds of thousands of dollars. On the other hand, they would never throw caution to the wind, so take their points lightly and be sure to go for your dream, if you can.

Do you have a story about your boss’s style? We’d love to hear it!

The DISC Differences

The tool of DISC will dramatically help you relate to people. By understanding we all have a different way of viewing life, you then can relate to them accordingly. When you realize that a High "D" person is on task, doesn't like interruptions, wants a quick moving environment where there is very little small talk, you realize you'd better be brief and to the point, and no small talk. And, at the end of the day, he values how much was done. On the other hand, if you have a staff member that is High "S" they prefer a low-keyed environment where they feel safe, having their day filled with sincere appreciation and just BEING around people. They desire minimal surprises, change, or quick moving and thinking decisions. At the end of their day they value how comfortable, relaxed, and easy the day went. Then you have the High "I" where fun and excitement are his/her agenda. They love change, and see people as their audience. If there isn't a party in the making, their very presence brings one. With gregarious over-dramatization, they love life, and don't want to miss out on anything, it might be fun. At the end of their day, they value how many new, fun, exciting things they were a part of, not to mention all the new best friends they made. And, they may have only gone to the drinking fountain, or gas station to find them. On the other end of the spectrum, the High "C" person may be found in the back room only to emerge when absolutely necessary. Being alone allows them to pursue their favorite tasks such as: thinking, planning, preparing, or evaluating. Their day is filled with problem solving, creating, planning, double checking, and reassessing the most minute detail. The order in their office is astounding to the rest of us. Everything has a place, and everything is actually in its place. Because they are motivated by the desire for perfection, making plans is a task that can be daunting to them. "Be prepared" is their mantra. At the end of the day, they evaluate their checklist to see what they've missed.

Can you see from the examples above how each person needs to be approached differently? Because there is no right or wrong behavioral style, just different, we can become much more effective when we not only know the differences in our styles, but learn to adapt to their various differences. This will help us to be successful in all our dealings with people.

Sue Porter

The DISC Differences In Us All

Understanding the tool of DISC will dramatically help you to relate to people by understanding we all have a different way of viewing life. When you realize that a High "D" person is on task, doesn't like interruptions, wants a quick moving environment where there is very little small talk, and at that at the end of the day he values how much got done, you then can relate to him accordingly. On the other hand, if you have a staff member that is High "S" they prefer a low-keyed environment where they feel safe, having their day filled with just being with people that does not comprise of surprises, change, or quick moving and thinking decisions. At the end of their day they value how comfortable, relaxed, and easy the day went. Then you have the High "I" where fun and excitement are his/her agenda. They love change, and see people as their audience to entertain. If there isn't a party in the making, they make one happen just by their very presence. With a gregarious over dramatization, they love life and don't want to miss a thing. At the end of their day, they value how many new, fun, exciting things they were a part of, not to mention all the new best friends they made. And they may have only gone to the drinking fountain to find them. The High "C" person may be found in the back room only emerging if absolutely necessary. Being alone allows them to pursue their favorite tasks, thinking, planning, preparing, evaluating. Their day is filled with problem solving, creating, planning, double checking, and reassessing every little minute detail. The order in their office may confound us all. Everything has a place, and everything is actually in it's place. Because they are motivated by the desire for perfection, making plans is a task that can be daunting. Plan and be prepared is their motto. At the end of the day they go through their check list to see what they've missed. Not wanting to make waves, or enter into conflict in any way, sort, or form, they may have avoided contact with people all day.

Can you see in the examples above how each person needs to be approached differently? Because there is no right or wrong behavioral style, just different, we can become much more effective when we not only know the differences in our styles, but then learn to adapt to their bent, will cause us to be successful in all our dealings with each and every person we come into contact with.

Let me give you an example. I wanted to learn more about the rules of blogging, so I asked my son if there was any particular on-line etiquette I could find. Being High "C" he told me to just go to as many blogs as I could and after reading them I would be able to know what is expected of me. Being High "D" my response was, "I just want the rules, I don't want to have to figure them out. You see, he values the thought process involved. So, upon that, he provided me with three articles that gave me the bottome line, what all High "D"'s value most. Thank you son, I appreciate your help!

DiSC It Can Take You From Good to GREAT

DiSC is a tool that can be used to understand our differences. It will show you:

• A persons strengths and weaknesses.
• How to capitalize on those strengths.
• What motivates and de-motivates a person
  
• What environment they work best in.
• How they lead and how they like to lead.
• What role they prefer to take in a group setting
  
• How they communicate.
  
• How to foster teamwork.
• How to communicate so the person you're with can hear you.
• How to reduce conflict and stress.
• The best behavioral style for a particular work position.

I just conducted a full/fun day seminar for the executive staff of a resort in Tucson, see Dynamic Personal Development for more on this seminar. The first half of the day was used to understand the DiSC model. Although understanding is only half the battle, where the rubber meets the road is using this tool to create cooperation and to strengthen their work relationships. The stories that will be listed in some of the comments of this blog during the months of June and July are how they are using their new knowledge of DiSC.