He was hiring an assistant, but what he was actually doing was hiring someone to keep him company and motivate him to focus and stay on track. It's all too common, hiring to meet your own needs rather than to fill the position. He was bored, needed someone around to engage in business conversation in order to fire up his initiative. But, was hiring an assistant to fill that need appropriate or even advantageous? I don't think so. "Dylan" I said, "Go join a networking group that focuses on building your business, and you'll hopefully find some people to form a mastermind that will fulfill these needs." So what is his Behavioral Style? Well if you think it's a "D" remember, they don't like small talk. Think it's the "S"? possibly. If this person is quiet, low keyed, and friendly, well that's a good guess. If you think Dylan's an "I" you can tell immediately by his boisterous voice, and outgoing bubbly stories he launches into. So, what do you do when you really need an assistant? Profile the position. Then, you can match the appropriate behavioral style to meet the needs of the position. Wow, isn't that an easy, implementable solution? Next time you need to hire someone, contact me and I'll tell you more.

"Oh, I was in rebellion, but I always knew that I would come back to the Lord" she said, as I sat listening in amazement. "Oh" I said, "so it was a planned rebellion." "I guess it was," she said. "I had never thought of it that way." You see, even in a period of rebellion this young girl, a "High C" had a plan, figured out how her life would go for her way in advance- even during her defiant non-conforming youthfulness. She, needing a plan to follow, had created a road map for her rebellion and made a structure for her unbridled freedom, knowing exactly when it would be over. This may sound foreign to you until you understand that structure is what High "C's" are most comfortable with. Knowing this, it just makes sense. By planning the details out, they will avoid, being sideswiped by surprises, change, or the unexpected, something they vehemently despise! So, don't be surprised, when working or living with this calculating personality, when they seem to know where they're going and how they're going to get there, including the details mapped out. It reminds me of some friends, who are quite free spirited, that went on what they thought would be a "fun" vacation with their daughter and son-in-law. The son-in-law had figured the trip out to the nth degree, including number of bathroom stops, exact timing of their stay at various sights, how much they would spend, and who would ride in which vehicles. This amount of structure wasn't exactly what they called "fun" and changed the complete dynamics of the trip. By understanding the "High C's" need for a process, time to think and contemplate, and system to follow, it can help the other behavioral styles not go nuts when they start to feel boxed in. These are truly needs the "High C" is hard-wired with guys, learn to flow with them, and set up environments for them to be comfortable and successful, and you'll find life will go well at the office, as well as in the home.

Everywhere I look people are using DISC. I'm reading an excellent book by Marshall Goldsmith. In researching his methods I discovered he uses DISC. I have a book, "Your Career in Changing Times." It uses DISC to help people discover their career transitions. Whether it's your management style, sales abilities, teacher training, coach development, or just plain working on your people skills, DISC is applicable. When I first started this then hobby, I had no idea I would be on the cusp of one of the hottest developmental tools on the marketplace. Our family knew it was good, and I've made a great career of it, but I still find myself confounded seeing DISC pop up regularly in every environment imaginable. I mean, I am affiliated with a woman who has her doctorate and is hired by attorneys to assist them in selecting juries. Then another consultant I know has a niche field in the area of golf, using, of course, DISC with his clients. I was a part of the hiring of the Executive Director of the Lightrail. We used this tool to assess the behavioral style of the candidates. So, what are you doing that DISC can help? You just might be surprised. I have been.

Adapting Your Style Will Reduce Conflict

Not even knowing it, we can run roughshod right over our friends and loved ones. I ought to know, I've done it many times myself, and without meaning to, I'm sure I'll do it again. As a "High D/I" in my style, when my husband and I would make a decision, well I was ready to do it, well, RIGHT NOW of course. It wasn't until I understood that he, being "S/C " needed time to think, contemplate, process, count the cost, adjust and just plain get use to the idea of doing something new, that I was able to honor him. Springing anything on an "S" or a "C", no matter how good, practical, or fun it may be, causes them stress and throws them out of kilter. I've know learned that I have to prepare my husband, through lots of time and conversation, whether it's going on a vacation or buying a new piece of furniture. Remember, they value things "STAYING THE SAME". They don't like change, whereas I live for it, and create as much of it wherever I go as possible. Loving new things, new ways of doing things, new friends, new routes to drive, new places to go, all energize me. But if you're married to a "High C", as I am, that is diametrically the opposite of how they want, and need things to be. My father, who was off the chart "High C" had a schedule he kept on a daily basis that would have killed me. He ate the same food for breakfast and lunch every day, went to the same restaurant each week for 30 years, had the same routine mapped, out in advance, for his garden. As well, he kept the same friends, just a few, his whole life. To regenerate, a "High C" likes to BE ALONE, read a book, do something artistic. They love down time. For a "D" it's diving into a project, one of their thousand they have going. For the "S" it's taking a nap, kicking back, hanging out with the family. For the "High I" it's being around people and having a party. Can you see how our needs and values clash? I've even learned that if I'm working with an executive that has "C" tendencies, that even changing a meeting time can throw the rest of their day off. Keeping consistency and at all cost continuity is a way of valuing their style. Is it "right"? There is no right or wrong in this. And, hopefully they're learning my style so they will understand how to relate and honor me. As well, all of us need to learn to adapt our style to meet the needs of the other person we're relating to. We all need to learn flexibility and not demand the other person to well, do it "MY" way. If each person takes the time to learn the behavioral styles of the people in their circle of influence, and then consciously adapt their style to meet their needs, we will eliminate many of the bickering, arguing, and contention in our homes, as well as in our workplace.

What Age Can You Perceive One's Behavioral Style?

My adorable toddler grandson, Caleb, builds towers with his blocks with such intensity and focus you’d think he had a contract to fill, and deadline to hit. We’ve seen him do this with other toys as well, he’s just a take-charge little guy. As well, he has to have his “people time” every day or he gets rather cranky. My daughter tells me that he loves going to the grocery store, because all the people walking by stop to talk to him, and does he love that! In fact, she goes somewhere just about every day. He brightens up and is energized by a crowd where ever he goes. In fact, during a party at their home recently, you would have thought Caleb was on a stage. He did little dance rocking movements just to make everyone laugh. Has it been his environment that created this? I don’t think so, it’s just who he is. Now, I don’t advocate mentally profiling children and announcing your findings. In fact, when my children were in Jr. High they begged me to tell them their Behavioral Style, and I just wouldn’t. I believe you should always give children room to grow, change, and develop their personalities without any stereotypes placed on them. I find all of this fascinating. I can’t wait to watch Caleb grow and develop. I’m sure this won’t be the last time you’ll hear about him.

Change A Habit and Change Your Life

I was breaking out like a teenager. For over a year and a half I caked on foundation makeup, trying to hide all the ghastly blemishes. Then one day I bought a moisturizing cream that was on sale, and within a week I noticed I wasn’t breaking out, NOT ONE BIT. What made the difference? I discovered that any kind of make-up with oil in it caused my face to erupt looking like the Grand Canyon. One small, simple change, and I felt physically, as well as emotionally better. I’m convinced this dilemma would have been solved so much sooner had I gone to a professional in cosmetology, and had a needs assessment done on my skin. You know, I encounter the same thing with my coaching clients. People don’t realize that an outside view-in can detect the need for small alterations that which can make a world of difference in how one relates to those around them. The knowledge of DISC can provide this kind of dramatic change! I can’t tell you the amount of people that come to me and tell me how much more congenial and satisfying their relationships are now that they use DISC. Along with training on the proper use of DISC, as well coaching to hold you accountable for changing, you can more than doubles your success in relating to people. Don’t wait until things are out of control. Click on the tab on the upper right had side of this blog and you can receive your free introductory coaching session. Then once you learn DISC, judge for yourself how effective it is.

It's Really About You, Putting Them First That Is

"So, we should be sure everyone learns our behavioral style so they know how to treat us, right?" said a gentleman in the seminar I was conducting. Well, this is not quite the right idea. Actually it's the other way around. You'll find you're not as frustrated or confused when you "Get It". Getting it means you take up the challenge to figure out the style of the person you're relating to, then adapt your behavior to meet their needs. The more you adapt to honor the style of the people you relate to in business or at home, the more you'll see others are doing the same for you.


To learn the characteristics of each behavioral style, write me, and I'll send you a free white paper describing each style.